‘Liever een wachtwoord voor Netflix dan een verlovingsring

De 20 grappigste dingen die vrouwen deze week zeiden op twitter volgens de Huffpo. Zoals: vinden sokken een scheiding net zo treurig als mensen? Of: iemand anders moet vanavond het sekssymbool zijn, ik vond net avocado in mijn haar.

No one I know who wears tennis shoes plays tennis. Let’s change the name to podcasting shoes.

— Abbi Crutchfield (@curlycomedy) 5 oktober 2016

Someone else is going to have to be a sex symbol tonight. I just found avocado in my hair.

— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) 5 oktober 2016

I love taking a nap after a long day of doing absolutely nothing

— Brittani Nichols (@BisHilarious) 7 oktober 2016

Fight or flight? Nah, I’m more hide or nap.

— Housewife of Hell (@HousewifeOfHell) 30 september 2016

I’d rather get an HBOgo password than an engagement ring

— Charlene deGuzman (@charstarlene) 7 oktober 2016

Oh fuck I’m just finding out about national boyfriend day now??? But how will I have enough time to blast myself into outer space??

— Emma Barrie (@emmabarrie) 4 oktober 2016

I need to create an email canned response that says “Sorry I missed the event. Was gonna come but I got to my room and took off my bra.”

— Awesomely Luvvie (@Luvvie) 5 oktober 2016

[at crime scene]

Me: Please step aside, I’ve seen like 436 episodes of Criminal Minds

— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) 5 oktober 2016

HEAR ME OUT: sarah jessica parkour (sex & the city-themed obstacle course)

— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) 5 oktober 2016

Woke the kids up with a smile, and a song. They started screaming for their real mom to come back

— Suburbia_Mommy (@runner_mom2) 30 september 2016

A paper cut from the book you’re reading is revenge from a judgmental tree that’s just disappointed in your choices in literature.

— Beatriz (@wittwitbarista) 5 oktober 2016

Ah yes! It’s that magical time of year when the cobwebs in my house suddenly become decorative.

— Blu (@TwoSapphiresBlu) 3 oktober 2016

The fact that I can make coffee BEFORE I’ve had coffee just proves I’m a wizard

— 🌴EnvyDaTropic™🌴 (@envydatropic) 4 oktober 2016

if i can keep a box of cheez-its unopened for 9 days I most certainly can keep your internet secrets

— Her Tomb Boots (@fuzzlime) 3 oktober 2016

[to kids] Do not make me come in there!
[to myself] because i’m so comfortable

— Amanda (@Manda_like_wine) 6 oktober 2016

Friend: OMG did u see the thing on the news about the sinister clowns?

Me: *flashback to me watching the debate* yeah I think I saw that

— Lurk @ Home Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) 4 oktober 2016

idk why but i feel v strongly that amanda knox is super into the hamilton soundtrack

— Jessica Roy (@JessicaKRoy) 5 oktober 2016

Can I get wine delivered?–4pm musings

— Christina Anderson (@Xtina_Anderson) 5 oktober 2016

I wonder if breakups are as hard for socks as they are for people.

— Olivia Caridi (@OliviaCaridi) 1 oktober 2016